I would like to welcome Jessica Grose to this edition of "Alli Rails on New York Times Columnists."

In this particular edition, I would like to discuss Ms. Grose's article entitled "Me? I'm Just Fine (Whimper). Really (Sob)." which appeared on page 9 of today's Style Section of the New York Times.

Topic #1. Why does the New York Times have a column wherein which various women (primarily) get to write a whole article about a lost love? I mean, look, I'm a HUGE Sex and the City fan, but this is the New York Times for God's sake... can we try to maintain some level of class, intellect and decency?

Topic #2. Ms. Grose's article is solely about her breakup with her boyfriend. Her twist is that she cries non-stop on public transportation. I would like to belitte her point by pointing out the following.
2a. If you go through a painful break-up in New York and have to move out of the apartment you shared with the ex-partner in question, you will probably cry in public. You will cry on public transportation, you will cry in front of people because they are everywhere. Just because you were caught crying on a train does not make you special, nor does it constitute the writing of and publication of said article in the SUNDAY New York Times.
2b. Clearly, your ex-boyfriend was not special, Ms. Grose. Grose makes note of how her boyfriend lived in Brooklyn, had almond-shaped blue eyes, was into Buddhism, talked fondly of his gay Uncle's partner, liked White Castle and took her to Coney Island to play Skee Ball. Well, Jessica Grose, let me tell you that every single person I know who lives in Brooklyn sounds just like this guy. Living in Brooklyn and having a fondness for eastern religion does not make you special. Living in Brooklyn and having a bizarre obsession for weird, gross, cheap food does not make you special. Living in Brooklyn and being a sensitive, liberal male does not make you special. I mean, hello, doesn't everyone know that?? These facts do not warrant the writing nor the publication of an article in the SUNDAY Times.
2c. You're 22 years old.
2ci. You're 22 and should not be living with a boyfriend in the first place.
2cii. You're 22 and should never be so serious about a boyfriend.
2ciii. You're 22 and an MFA candidate at Columbia.
2civ. You're 22 and the editorial assistant at Spin.com.
2cv. You're 22 and just f'ing got published in the SUNDAY Times.
3. Points 2a, 2b and 2c-2cv give you absolutely no reason whatsoever to bitch.

Pathetic.

And Dear NY Times, you should be ashamed of yourself for publishing an article like this. Grow up! Get some class back! In a column entitled "Modern Love," shouldn't there be some depth, some weekly recognition that modern love this day in age doesn't involve stories about public sobbing but should involve tales of strong-willed women and men who are intelligent and cultured and the recognition that love exists, expands and breaks in many forms?

Ugh.

I mean really, let's say I were to write an article about the break-up I go through with my alleged boyfriend (the LA equivalent of the Brooklyn boy Grose describes) - a Jewish, Kabbalah loving boy with mocha-colored eyes, who lives in Silverlake, works as a PA, frequents In 'n Out and takes random day trips to Disneyland - does that mean there was enough substance in our relationship that I should write an article about us, post break-up, that involves me sobbing in my car as I drive south on the 101? Please. Not even the LA Times would publish a story like that. But the New York Times did. Ms. Grose and the NYT editors, you should be ashamed of yourselves!